Let’s talk about relationships and substance

One of my girlfriends and I were having a convo in the car today, and were talking about relationships.

Now, I’ve heard stories of how back in the days, guys had to go meet the parents first, in order to take their daughters out and get with them. There were probably exceptions to that where in certain cases it didn’t happen like that. But, this was the most respectful way for things to get done.

Nowadays, it’s a totally different story. And I know for a fact that technology makes everything so much better, but at the same time, it makes things so much worse.

Yes, it helps with communicating at a distance, keeping in touch with each other. In certain cases though, not so much.

Let’s take an example here.

This girl I know, is supposedly dating a guy whom no one knows about. She supposedly loves him, but isn’t even sure about how he feels. They text each other all the time, almost on a daily basis, speak on the phone, but when they’re around each other, they act like total strangers. She has to sneak around just to see him, and when he’s around his friends, he totally denies a relationship with her.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for privacy and secrecy of relationships, because sometimes it’s better when people don’t know your business. But let’s be rational here. If he doesn’t even acknowledge you in front of his family or close friends, then he isn’t the one sis.

If you’re in a relationship where all you do is sneak around, meet up in the dead of night to see each other, is that really a relationship? If this man goes around, disrespects you, cheats on you, can you really blame him?

I don’t think so.

Ladies, you gotta know your worth. Even if you’ve put up with some bullshit before, know when to put your foot down and say enough is enough.

Go for something that’s substantial, where a man says something, actually means it, and proves it.

And Guys, stop being into physicality, and go for women of substance. Women with not just a fat ass and perky boobs, but women with goals, who will support you, cherish you, and have your back one hundred percent. Women who will care for you and your children and know what it means to have a man, a family, and uplift them. Women of God.

“Behind every successful man is his woman”.

Those 2-3 AM text messages are not gonna cut it.

Those “wyd” messages are not gonna cut it.

Trust me sis, no matter how much you love him,  there is someone else in the picture, he’s up to something. Because he denies you, that gives him the freedom to do as he pleases. And I know “the heart wants what it wants”, but use your head.

My brotha, if she left someone else for you, she’ll do the same to you when someone else comes around. Or if you feel something is not right, most of the time, it’s not.

Gentleman tell her you’ll pick her up for dinner, and call hours before to check in.

Ladies, not only the men gotta put in the work, cook something up, take him out. He’ll appreciate you for it.

All I’m saying is, way too many people don’t take this whole relationship thing serious anymore.

Photo Credit: We Heart It/ Wenxz

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